Elementary Composition · Part 15

Exercise 107.--Describe scientifically and specifically, using correct botanical terms, an individual example of one of the list of topics given you for general treatment on page 162, taking up (1) the general habit of growth, (2) usual location, (3) usual dimensions of whole plant, (4) body of the plant, (5) leaves, (6) flowers, (7) fruit and seeds, (8) any general remarks as to its usefulness in the world, etc. In addition, treat similarly the sunflower, seaweed, pansies, the peanut vine, the hazel nut, witch-hazel, the forget-me-not, the golden-rod, the willow, the sumac.

65. Literary Description.--An example of literary description, very far removed from the scientific variety, is the following extract:--

We had a remarkable sunset one day last November. I was walking in a meadow, the source of a small brook, when the sun at last, just before setting after a cold gray day, reached a clear stratum in the horizon; and the softest, brightest morning sunlight fell on the dry grass, and on the stems of the trees in the opposite horizon, and on the leaves of the scrub oaks on the hillside, while our shadows stretched long over the meadows eastward as if we were only motes in its beams. It was such a light as we could not have imagined a moment before, and the air also was so warm and serene that nothing was wanting to make a paradise of that meadow. When we reflected that this was not a solitary phenomenon, never to happen again, but that it would happen forever and ever an infinite number of evenings, and cheer and reassure the latest child that walked then, it was more glorious still.--H. D. THOREAU: Excursions.

The real point of difference between such a description and the account of the Blackburnian warbler is that the aim in the one case is to present facts and in the other to present a picture. Observation, however accurate, and order, however logical, are not enough for this sort of description. You must interest and please, or you have failed of your purpose. You must observe keenly and arrange your material carefully, but you must do more than this. You must remember all the time that you are trying to make a picture, and in many regards you need to follow the same rule as the artist does in painting.

For instance, he establishes himself in one place and draws the object, scene, or person as it looks to him from there. You would laugh at a painter who, in drawing a solid oak door, put in a person standing on the other side of it, but one of the first things to remember in making your written picture is not to put in details which you could not see from the point where you have placed yourself to make your sketch. In describing the view from a high hill, you must not write, "The woods back of our house looked like a green carpet and the house like the tiniest sort of a child's plaything. The sun shining in the windows of the front parlor made the room look as though it were smiling." The last sentence may be perfectly true, and in an account of the front parlor would be a good piece of description, but since you could not possibly see that detail from the top of a distant hill, it is absurd to use it.

More even than this, you must learn to remove too much detail from your descriptions. Not only should you refrain from using anything you cannot see from the point where you have placed yourself, but you should not use all the things you can see. In the exercises on scientific description you have been observing, as completely as you possibly could, a given subject, and putting into your composition all the facts you could see or learn about. In literary description the process is quite different. You must train yourself to leave out a great many details, and to select those you use with great care for their value in aiding you to give your reader a lifelike picture. In describing a house scientifically, it is of just as much value to say that there are eight windows on the north side as that it stands on a high hill, for what you wish to do is to convey all the information you can about the house. But in a literary description you should not mention the windows at all, unless there is something unusual about them, and you should pick out for mention only the features that make that house different from other houses; so that one of the first things you would say is some presentation of the fact that it is on a hill.

At length we stopped before a very old house bulging out over the road; a house with long low lattice-windows bulging out still further, and beams with carved heads on the ends bulging out too, so that I fancied the whole house was leaning forward, trying to see who was passing on the narrow pavement below. It was quite spotless in its cleanliness. The old-fashioned brass knocker on the low arched door, ornamented with carved garlands of fruit and flowers, twinkled like a star. The two stone steps descending to the door were as white as if they had been covered with fair linen; and all the angles and corners, and carvings and moldings, and quaint little panes of glass, and quainter little windows, though as old as the hills, were as pure as any snow that ever fell from the hills.--CHARLES DICKENS: David Copperfield.

In this sketch of a house nothing is mentioned that could not be seen both from the position of a person who has just stepped in front of it and in the time which would naturally elapse between his ringing the doorbell and the arrival of some one to answer it. Notice also that a general impression of the whole house is given in the first sentence. Just as an artist making a sketch draws first a general rough outline of the whole object, "blocking in" (as it is called) the proportions and general aspect before going on to details; so a good beginning for a description is some general summing up of the first impression made upon you by the scene, or of the impression you desire to make upon your reader. This corresponds to the topic sentence of a paragraph.

Exercise 108.--Write a description from a fixed point, and as if after only a few moments' look, of the general impression made upon the observer by any of the following subjects, trying to catch some characteristic trait or quality, which you can state in one metaphor or comparison, as the predominating effect. For instance:--

1. I fancied that the whole house was leaning forward, trying to see who was passing on the narrow pavement below.

2. The deep projection of the second story gave the house such a meditative look that you could not pass it without the idea that it had secrets to keep, and an eventful history to moralize upon.

3. The nest looks as if it barely touched the twigs from which it hung; but when you examine it, you may find that the gray fibers have woven the wood in so securely that the nest would have to be torn in pieces before it could be loosened from the twigs.

Make your descriptions brief and try to convey vividly the first impression.

The front of your school building, your home, an old barn, the handsomest house in your neighborhood, a country church, the kitchen of your home, your own room, a hen house with the hens just going to roost, a dovecot, any public monument you may know, the inside of a public library, the post office, a drug store, a carpenter's shop, a blacksmith's, an iron foundry, a milliner's shop, a beehive, a crow's nest, an ant-hill, a spider's web, an aquarium, a farmhouse, a tall office building, an ocean steamer, a sailboat, any curious house you may have seen.

One good exercise for forcing yourself to express quickly the aspect of a given object at a given time is to try to describe something in very rapid motion, of which you can get only a momentary glimpse. For instance:--

1. The squirrel would shoot up the tree, making only a brown streak from the bottom to the top.

2. Away across the endless dead level of the prairie a black speck appears against the sky, and it is plain that it moves. Well, I should think so! In a second or two it becomes a horse and rider, rising and falling, rising and falling, sweeping toward us nearer and nearer, growing more and more distinct, more and more sharply defined, nearer and still nearer, and the flutter of the hoofs comes faintly to the ear. Another instant, a whoop and hurrah from all of us, a wave of the rider's hand, but no reply, and man and horse burst past our excited faces, and go winging away like a belated fragment of a storm!

Exercise 109.--1. Try to give a brief, vivid impression of an express train passing at full speed, an automobile, a steamer, a race horse, a man running, a dog chasing a cat. 2. Describe how you are impressed by the passage through a short tunnel of a train you are on, by a village you pass on an express, by a bit of forest your train darts through.

66. Description of People.--Read these two passages, the second of which is a description by the historian Motley of Thackeray, the great English novelist.

1. Mr. Creakle's face was fiery, and his eyes were small and deep in his head. He had thick veins in his forehead, a little nose, and a large chin. He was bald on the top of his head, and had some thin, wet-looking hair that was just turning gray, brushed across each temple, so that the two sides interlaced on his forehead. But the circumstance about him which most impressed me was that he had no voice, but spoke in a whisper.--CHARLES DICKENS: David Copperfield.

2. He has the appearance of a colossal infant, smooth, white, shiny, ringlety hair,--flaxen alas! with advancing years, a roundish face, with a little dab of a nose, upon which it is a perpetual wonder how he keeps his spectacles, a sweet but rather piping voice with something of a childish treble about it, and a very tall, slightly stooping figure.

In writing this sort of quick sketch, notice what impresses you first about your subject, that is, what is the most characteristic feature. In Dickens's description of the house, it was the fact that the whole building seemed to be leaning forward; in Motley's picture of Thackeray, it was the fact that the great novelist looked curiously like a little child; in Dickens's Mr. Creakle, it was the fact that the school-teacher had no voice.

Exercise 110.--I. Write in the same way as in the preceding lesson a picture, in a paragraph or two, suggested by any of the following subjects, trying to catch the most characteristic points, such as would impress you after a moment's observation, and to state them vividly and briefly, so that the description may be recognizable.

The iceman; the policeman; the washerwoman; the janitor; a street-car conductor; a postman; an organ grinder; a newsboy; a farmer; a classmate; a messenger boy; a butcher; any one of unusual appearance who has passed you in the street, or whom you have seen in the cars.

II. Or, give in the same brief, picturesque manner the impression made by a first sight of your dog as differing from other dogs of the same breed, trying to express the way in which his character shows itself through his appearance--kind and slow, or nervous and active, or affectionate and playful, etc.; of any dog you have seen who has a marked individuality; of your cat, canary, or any of your pets.

In describing a person you will find very often that you are most impressed by the eyes, and that they give the characteristic expression to the face. These following extracts, taken from one novel, the work of a skillful writer, show how much attention is paid to the eyes of the persons described:--

1. She was tall and pale, thin and a little awkward; her hair was fair and perfectly straight; her eyes were dark and they had the singularity of seeming at once dull and restless.

2. The second young lady was also thin and pale; but she was older than the other; she was shorter; she had dark, smooth hair. Her eyes, unlike the other's, were quick and bright; but they were not at all restless.

3. This latter personage was a man of rather less than the usual stature and the usual weight, with a quick, observant, agreeable dark eye.

4. She was a fair, plump person, of medium stature, with a round face, a small mouth, a delicate complexion, a bunch of light brown curls at the back of her head, and a peculiarly open, surprised-looking eye.

Exercise 111.--I. Look at a portrait or bust of Julius Cæsar and see if you think his appearance as a young man was well described by the historian Froude in the following extract:--

A tall, slight, handsome youth, with dark piercing eyes, a sallow complexion, large nose, lips full, features refined and intellectual, neck sinewy and thick, beyond what might have been expected from the generally slender figure.

II. Write a paragraph or two describing the personal appearance of any noted man or woman with whose portrait you are familiar. Try to reproduce the most striking traits, describing them as if you were speaking of a living person.

(a) Sir Walter Scott, George Eliot, Hawthorne, Longfellow, James Russell Lowell, Whittier, Bryant, Dickens, Tennyson, Louisa M. Alcott.

(b) George Washington, Daniel Webster, Abraham Lincoln, General Grant, Alexander Hamilton, Bismarck, Napoleon, Julius Cæsar, Queen Victoria, Queen Wilhelmina.

III. Think over some of the fictitious characters given below; try to imagine how they would look, and write a brief description as of a living person. Do not begin writing until you have a complete picture in your mind.

Cinderella and her two wicked sisters, Robin Hood, Ali Baba, Robinson Crusoe, Sindbad the Sailor, Uncle Remus, The Sleeping Beauty, Shylock, King Lear, St. George, Santa Claus, Bluebeard, Ruth, Samuel, David and Goliath.

67. Longer Description.--You are now ready to try descriptions on a little larger scale. Be careful, however, to bear in mind the following hints:--

1. Plan your whole description before you write any part of it, and see that you are following some natural order, such as from left to right, or right to left, from the top down, from the bottom up, from head to foot, etc. In describing a landscape, for instance, from a fixed point, after the introduction (usually only a single sentence) you begin with what is nearest to you--the foreground--and proceed to more distant points of the scene. Or you begin with what is far away--the background--and come closer and closer, finishing with the things immediately about you.

2. Use no details which will not add to the vividness and force of your picture. In describing a library, for instance, you can very well leave out any mention of the number of chairs there are in the room, or of the fact that the front door is of oak, since those details might be true of any large public room. But you must not fail to notice and to remark on the stillness of the place,--people walking about very quietly and talking in whispers, standing close to each other,--for that is one of the things which distinguishes a library from other places. So, in writing of both a handsome street and an alleyway, you would be telling the truth if you said that they were both paved and had a gutter on each side, but you would not be making a picture, as you would if you spoke of battered ash barrels and hungry cats in the alley, and of beautiful lawns and pretty romping children in the handsome street. In observing the scene you wish to describe, you should notice everything, looking at a sight long familiar to you with the steady gaze you had to give in order to see what is really on a postage stamp or a dollar bill. You will find that you have looked at the view from your window with the same careless, vacant, absent gaze, lacking real attention, and that you need to fix your mind on observing a landscape or a scene, before you take in a great many details that are essential. But when you come to writing, you should think of each detail before you use it, to see if it brings the picture out more clearly.

3. Use some device for expressing the relation between the different parts of your picture. This is usually done by employing complex sentences made up by means of connecting links, such as near which, above which, around which, etc., and by using such phrases as farther off, nearer by, close at hand, far away, in the distance, high up, directly below, on the other side, beyond, etc.

Exercise 112.--Describe such of the following as your teacher may indicate:--

1. What I see from my window at home, at school. 2. View from the highest place to which I ever climbed. 3. View from the top of our house. 4. The most beautiful view I ever saw. 5. How our street looks from our front steps. 6. Across the meadow. 7. How my room looks from the door. 8. The views in the park I like best. 9. View along a country road. 10. Trees along a village street. 11. View along a street in a large city. 12. The inside of our church from where I sit. 13. My class room from my seat. 14. Our kitchen. 15. The inside of a barn. 16. What I can see from the door of a barn. 17. An alleyway in a city. 18. View along the most beautiful street I know. 19. View from the back of a river or lake. 20. Imaginary description of the view I should like best to be able to see from my window. 21. How my room would look if I could have it exactly as I wished. 22. The prettiest parlor I ever saw. 23. How the inside of a public library looks from the door. 24. A view in the woods in the winter. 25. An orchard in bloom. 26. Beside the brook. 27. In the market. 28. Scene in a department store; in a hospital; in a restaurant. 29. A soda-water fountain. 30. A sand pile where children have been playing "keep-house." 31. Any scene at a county fair.

68. Description of Conditions.--Read the following description:--

A cornfield in July is a hot place. The soil is hot and dry; the wind comes across the lazily murmuring leaves laden with a warm, sickening smell drawn from the rapidly growing, broad-flung banners of the corn. The sun, nearly vertical, drops a flood of dazzling light and heat upon the field, over which the cool shadows run, only to make the heat seem the more intense.--HAMLIN GARLAND: Main-traveled Roads.